Your hair is beautiful, a friend texted me and seeing the message I had this revelation that I want to share with you because healing relationships is part of our life purpose. I am using hair as an example but can be any part of us.
How many times in the past I’ve tried to change my hair. I didn’t feel my hair was pretty or valuable. I was adding toxic things to it, cutting it, pulling it too much and always thinking it is not good enough. That started for me when I was little inside my family and then society. I saw around me people doing all kinds of things to their hairs. I experienced how so many people were unsatisfied with their natural appearance. Then growing up as a teenager, I started focusing on my appearance more and start recognizing and remembering every interaction with people that trigger in me those same feelings of never being good enough, or that there is someone better looking than I, comparing all things including my hair. Not valuing my self enough to be ok with my natural attributes led me to a road of self-blame, feeling unsatisfied with what God had given me. So, in consequence, I blamed others instead of taking responsibility for my feelings. If you are experiencing this currently with yourself and in your relationship I want you to know that is ok to feel that way, we didn’t have anyone to teach us these things like is ok to be yourself, you are beautiful as you are, we are all different and similar at the same time, we are one, appreciating your differences is appreciating the differences of others and loving who you are will make others love you for the real you. There is so much I did to my hair, that I want to take this chance to honor it and likewise honor every hair and every people and our relationships.
It is ok to admire somebody besides us but to compare and criticize ourselves and other people in a negative subtracts value to the growth of the subject, could be your hair, yourself, a person you care about or anybody. The relationship we have with our hair and with our body, in general, can teach us also about our relationships. You can ask yourself these questions to understand more about relationships.
1. Do you love your hair?
- Do you love your partner?
2. Do you accept your natural hair?
- Do you accept your partner as it is?
3. Do you add value to your hair without harm?
- Do you add value to the relationship without harm?
4. Do you compare your hair to others in a negative way?
- Do you compare your personality to others in a negative way?
5. Do you minimize your hair?
- Do you minimize others?
6. How do you feel about your hair?
- How do you feel about that person?
7. Am I letting my hair grow naturally?
- Am I letting my relationship grow naturally?
8 Do you feel confident about your hair?
- Do you feel confident about yourself?
9 Are you letting your hair breathe?
- Are you letting the relationship breathe?
10 Do you take good care of your hair?
- Do you take good care of your relationship?
And like this, many similar questions can be asked. It is life-changing when we realize that part of us reflect other parts of our lives. Most of the process is allowing the natural self to shine by not diminishing your light focusing on changing who you are to fit in. Being rawer, but in balance without forgetting about basic and holistic self-care habits. These are good habits that aid in the health of the whole. Beautiful is a feeling that you transmit from yourself and comes back to you. It is something you think about you, something you allow and accept from inside out by cleaning toxic patterns and behaviors. And when I say relationships I mean first and foremost the one with yourself. It is time to start thinking where we let ourselves down, so we can see those areas reflected outside. In truth, there is nothing outside of you all is a reflection of your mind. So much to realize before coming into acceptance and self-respect. Questioning our choices makes us see what areas of our lives we can show more love to and heal. It is just not fair to walk away from yourself and then blame other people and then realizing that you keep finding those reactions in people, places, and things. Then you realize it is just you in other styles and faces. Be willing to look at the real you, the real you will get you closer to the real in everyone, that will get you closer to the truth, to the light inside of you and the light in others. 🙏
PD: This post maybe is not going to resonate for everybody. I choose to write this for the ones who do resonate with this. Hope you find something good out of this. Much love 💗
Best always, Keila.