I am responsible for my thoughts and emotions, we all are.
Noticing a new symptom immediately leads my brain to wonder if the leukemia has relapsed. This is quickly followed by worry and a host of other emotions. This is a normal reaction. It is at this point that I realise that I’m in my head, which operates from a limited perspective, and not my heart. (This can easily be rectified, it just requires you to be conscious of where your awareness is.) In my head, thoughts and emotions run wild if left unchecked. It is only from my heart, the seat of my soul, that I can establish peace of mind, and restore equanimity. Fear melts away under the light of love; I become empowered. Whatever comes next doesn’t matter because I’m connected/ plugged in/ lit up. I know everything is God.
Limitation is something I wholeheartedly promised myself to no longer accept, so long as I continued to draw breath. Of course some limitations must be accepted in the material realm, but never in my mind will I allow them to exist.
I believe that my body was created to be fully functioning and without pain or dis-ease. When illness springs from within how can I accept being powerless. I believe that we are the captain (observer) of our vessel (body, mind, emotions.) Thoughts and emotions play a big role in establishing authority/ sovereignty – over your being.
With these beliefs in mind I return to the breath, inhaling oxygen into the diaphragm, holding for a short while before exhaling, repeating until my energy shifts and awareness returns to my heart space. This practice is necessary nowadays for reasons I’ll go into another time, but I believe we generally don’t get enough oxygen into our diaphragm so we don’t thrive. This is due to the way most of us breathe, taking in just enough to operate the main systems. That’s why we experience preventable health problems down the line. Skeleton crew vs fully staffed.
The breath is the key to health in all areas, as it’s all interconnected, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. It’s a daily battle but it’s worth the effort because ultimately that’s all we have control of, ourselves. Cliche but I know for certain nothing is worth more than inner peace and the love in my heart, I don’t need to search for anything external because I know it’s all within. As Paulo Coelho says, “The treasure is buried within.”
(Side note, when it’s our time to go, it’s our time, no efforts to the contrary will prevail)